Lost Words
by xheart to thee
Summary: [Oneshot Chris Angst] Chris's thoughts on his dad. Set in the 'evil'


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Charmed Characters, I am simply borrowing them. I do not own the song either. It belongs to Good Charlotte.**

**Song: 'Emotionless'-Good Charlotte**

**This is just a one chapter song fic on Chris's feelings in the bad future towards his dad. I decided that Piper had Melinda as well as Wyatt and Chris because it works for the song! Lol Just read it? Yeah?**

**xXx**

_Hey dad  
I'm writing to you  
not to tell you, that I still hate you  
just to ask you  
how you feel  
and how we fell apart  
how this fell apart _

The rain was hitting the windows fiercely. The attic was dark and the only light was a small candle sitting at the table. Beside the table was the shadow of a young boy holding a pen in his hand and reading what he had written. His eyes were filled with tears and his knees were trembling. He brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes and began writing again.

_are you happy out there in this great wide world?  
do you think about your sons?  
do you miss your little girl?  
when you lay your head down  
how do you sleep at night?  
do you even wonder if we're all right?_

The boy's hand moved swiftly from side to side of the letter. His thoughts splayed out on a single piece of paper. His thoughts were all of the same person. His dad. His dad had been there for the whole world but never there for him or his little sister. He couldn't understand it. He wondered whether his dad knew all of this. He wondered whether Leo ever took a moment out of his day to think about his failed attempt at father hood. He felt his dad should know that he was alright, he and Melinda could do with out a father. He could protect their mom without the help of an Elder.

_but we're all right  
we're all right_

He set the pen down for a pause. He twirled it around with his thumb and index finger. He closed his eyes to try and imagine all the moments were he wished his dad had have been there. When he had been young, his dad had seemed amazing. It wasn't anything his dad did he just seemed like a hero. Every boy thought their dad was the best. Well so he thought.

_It's been a long hard road without you by my side  
why weren't you there all the nights that we cried  
you broke my mother's heart  
you broke your children for life  
it's not ok,  
but we're all right  
I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes  
but those are just a long lost memory of mine  
I spent so many years learning how to survive  
Now, I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive_

He thought back to the days when he used to stay up with his sister because she had had a nightmare or she had been scared of a shadow in her room. He had come to terms with his dad completely ignoring him but ignoring his sister? He couldn't forgive his dad for doing that. Melinda hadn't done anything to him yet he still ignored her. And then there was his mom. She hadn't done anything to hurt his dad yet he hurt her in more ways than one. When he had left the first time she had been so upset. Chris wasn't born then but he had heard stories from his aunts about how upset his mom had been. His dad had removed her pain but somehow he had come back and she had been heartbroken. Then he had come back and she had been so happy but then he left again because he was worried about his sons safety. His son being Wyatt. Chris was ok of course. Baby Chris was fine. Nothing would harm him. It was precious Wyatt who had to get special attention. He knew he shouldn't be envious of his brother but he couldn't help it. Wyatt had always gotten the attention, even when his sister had been born his aunts had 'baby talked' to her for a month or so and then it was back to Wyatt.

_the days I spent so cold, so hungry  
were full of hate  
I was so angry  
the scars run deep inside this tattooed body  
there's things I'll take, to my grave  
but I'm okay  
I'm okay _

He began to write again, the pen taking control of itself. Words of hatred came out, words of irritation and words of disgust. He couldn't control his emotions. They just kept seeping out through the ink in his pen.

_it's been a long hard road without you by my side  
why weren't you there all the nights that we cried  
you broke my mother's heart  
you broke your children for life  
it's not ok,  
but we're all right  
I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes  
but those are just a long lost memory of mine  
Now, I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive  
yeah, I'm still alive_

He paused for a moment and then began to write again. His emotions suddenly changing. He began to write about how he missed his dad and how he wished he could have been there for his birthdays and Melinda's birthdays. How he wished he could have been pushed by his dad in the swings at the park like all the other children. He wrote about how he would forgive him if he came back today and apologized for everything.

_sometimes  
I forgive  
yeah and this time  
I'll admit  
that I miss you, said I miss you  
_

He finally signed the bottom and gently slipped it into an envelope. He then held the pen to the envelope as if to write an address and he realized his dad didn't have one. His dad didn't have a home. He put the pen down and stood up, the letter in his hand. He moved to the bin, took one last look at the paper and then ripped it down the middle and threw it into the bin. He looked around the attic and then sighed and turned on his heels and left the room and took to the stairs. The candle in the corner took one last breath and blew out.

_it's been a long hard road without you by my side  
why weren't you there all the nights that we cried  
you broke my mother's heart  
you broke your children for life  
it's not ok,  
but we're all right  
I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes  
but those are just a long lost memory of mine  
Now, I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive_

_  
and sometimes  
I forgive  
and this time  
I'll admit, that I miss you, I miss you  
hey dad_

_**xXx**_


End file.
